A Trip Down Memory Lane

Last week, I had the opportunity to gather with fellow Portuguese people here in North Carolina and a monthly dinner sponsored by the "Portuguese Association of North Carolina (PANC)."  As the group, now a non-profit organization, looks to build the organization, I find myself thinking about my upbringing and my culture.

For those of you who don't know, I grew up in a very close-knit Portuguese community in Rhode Island.  Our community offered lots of opportunities to get together with other Portuguese families in a variety of settings.  I frequently half-joke with people that my life was a little like the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."  I went to Portuguese school as an after-school program, gossip spread like wildfire, and it was/is more common for a Portuguese person to date and marry a fellow Portuguese person that to be with an "American."

I'll never forget the day, my sophomore year of college, when we talked about gemienschaft versus a gesellschaft in my sociology class.  At the time, I had only lived in my hometown and in the college community in Burlington, Vermont and knew that I had always lived in a gemeinschaft, where my beliefs and actions were more a result of the large association of my community (the Portuguese community in RI and the college community in VT), as opposed to my own self-interest.  Sure, I had non-Portuguese friends and did things that were uncommon from tradition as I grew up, but, for the most part, my world revolved around being Portuguese.

From grades 2-7, I attended Portuguese school in the evenings, learning about the culture, language, history, and geography of this small country.  I can still remember most of the 13 provinces, the first president, many of the explorers, and some of the major rivers.  In 4th grade, I started taking clarinet lessons in school, and joined our Portuguese social club's band, like many of my peers.  Shortly thereafter, I also joined one of the two Portuguese folk dancing groups in our town.  The band and the folk dancing group usually attended the same events (there is a feast for a saint in almost every Portuguese town in RI and southeastern MA every weekend from June to August), so I'd go from being in my band outfit for the marching parade, to my folk outfit to perform, and lastly into some "normal" clothes to hang out with friends, and dance at the feast.

My social club's band continues to march in parades all over RI
Photo courtesy of the Lusitania Club's Facebook page 

My folk dancing group continues to perform all over RI
Photo courtesy of my former director's Facebook page 

My social club continues hold a feast celebrating St. John every June and the church hosts an Our Lady of Fatima Feast Labor Day weekend.  A feast is 3 nights of live music, cultural performances, lots of food/alcohol and crowds like you see here.
Photo courtesy of the Lusitania Club's Facebook page 

If you can imagine, I was a pretty busy kid.  These events were things I did to celebrate my culture, but I was also into sports and played year-round competitive soccer for most of my life.  I guess when you're so busy with extra-curricular activities, there is no time to get into trouble.  

Though it seemed like a lot, I enjoyed it.  It was fun to meet lots of people, have friends to do these things with, and experience a variety of things the Portuguese and the American world had to offer.  I hardly ever sat around watching TV, never played video games, and never remember thinking that I was bored.  In fact, I went to Montreal and New Jersey a few times with the band, and even went to Portugal, a tour that included playing at the President's palace!  I can't think of very many kids who had a more enriching youth.

After finishing up 6 years of college and grad school, I had my first experience living in a gesellschaft.  NYC is the epitome of a gesellschaft  - a place where almost everyone acts in their own self interest and defies social and cultural norms.  After spending 24 years living in places with "built-in" communities, I struggled to define my interests and find a place to fit in.  I had spent all my life trying to excel within cultural and societal norms (which were very different in RI, VT, and Tennessee).  

In NYC, I met, and became friends with, some Portuguese people who worked with me and played soccer with me, but going to their feasts was just not the same (although it was funny to see some of my RI friends at the feasts in Newark!!).  Even the friends I made playing soccer were nice, but I just struggled to find my niche.  I didn't know how to act in a gesellschaft - it made me realize that I had to define what I wanted for myself and what I enjoyed.  It was not an easy process to initiate and it is a process that will likely continue throughout my life.

My "gemeinschaft" in NYC ultimately became my home.  The cultural and societal norms that defined my actions became the things my husband and I did together - like hiking, playing volleyball, running, joining a community supported agriculture program (CSA) and traveling- which were things were both enjoyed.  And I still did some things with friends I made in the city - like playing soccer and going out dancing.

I still struggle to act in my own self interest - Colin is a lot better at it than I am.  I'm certainly not saying that is the better way to be or that I want to completely just think about me.  There are wonderful benefits to being a part of a close community - people look out for each other and help each other when needed, there are lots of opportunities to be social, etc.  But, I admire those who can do things for themselves to be truly happy, especially those whose self interests benefit others and society as a whole.  That is what I aspire for myself.

So, while the Portuguese Association of North Carolina (PANC) looks to provide a gemeinschaft for families here, I will continue to attend the monthly dinners when I can.  Through these dinners, perhaps I will find an opportunity to help the group with their endeavor through something that satisfies my own self interest.

Last week's Portuguese dinner included several delicious entrees.

Not to brag, but my bacalhau (white dish) was a hit!!

My first half marathon

Many of you may know that I've been talking about doing a half marathon for over a year now.

Last winter I set a goal to do a half marathon in my 30th year.  At the time, my roommate and some of her friends were training for a 10 mile race, so she and I did some long runs (6-8 miles) together.  I was following a Runner's World magazine program I found for free online that included long runs on the weekends, and 2-4 mile runs during the week, many of which included 4 x 100 meter sprints, sprints during the run, and increasing the pace up hills.  I trained for a solid 2 months, but struggled to find a half marathon to suit my desire for a local, fun first race. When the Tarheel 10 mile race approached and a racing number was available, I jumped at the chance to run through UNC Chapel Hill's campus with my roomie and her friends.

We had a delicious pasta dinner hosted by a fellow runner and her family, and I went to bed at a reasonable hour.  When the alarm got me up before 6am, I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of running 10 miles, but I had some breakfast, a little coffee and was chauffeured the 40 minutes to Chapel Hill by my wonderful husband.

At the starting line, I met up with our group near the back of the 10-minute-mile pace and after a few photos, we were off!

The "10-minute-mile" group

I quickly got my roommate, Jen, to keep pace with me around an 8:20-8:40 minute mile and we started passing people.  That became one of my favorite parts of the race - seeing someone ahead of me that I could catch up to and pass.  Maybe it comes from my competitive spirit.  

The cool temperatures, scenic views, and cheering kept us motivated to keep racing, but the hills made keeping a fast pace difficult.  I felt pretty good around the 8:30-minute-mile pace through most of the race, but my running buddy slowed it down a bit around mile 8.  With a 1 mile hill incline and 2 miles left, I continued pushing and finished the race in 1 hour and 26 minutes - an average pace of 8:35 minutes per mile. Jen finished shortly after.  I felt great at the end of the run and enjoyed some snacks before my sweat turned cold and made me want to go home!

 The race finishers!

We both felt like we should have been first place!

Fast forward almost a year, to a 31st birthday and no half marathon under my belt.  Getting a puppy in May made training for a race difficult, especially when the vet told us not to run too much with him until he stopped growing.  I kept looking for races, but could not commit to one, so I readjusted my plan.  Instead of racing a half marathon in my 30th year, I committed to racing one as soon as I could make it work.

I didn't want to have to travel far for a race. I enjoy my home and my bed and I am NOT a morning person!  I also didn't want to spend a lot of money for a race.  I know people enjoy giving their money to a good cause, and I do give to charities on my own.  But, I hate the concept of paying to run!

I set my eyes on two upcoming races. The first was the Tobacco Road half marathon March 18th and the second was the Run Raleigh half marathon April 15.  Because the Tobacco Road half marathon sold out very early in the year, I put a craigslist search on my phone to see if someone was selling a race bib. I also checked the Run Raleigh site several times about to pull the trigger on commitment - failing each time.  The challenge I had is that my soccer game on April 15th is against a challenging team and I feel as though I will be letting my team down by not being "100%" after a race.  I didn't commit to the Tobacco Road race when it was still open because I had 3 soccer games scheduled that day.

As March 18th drew closer and people were posting $40 race bibs for sale on Craigslist, I kept feeling tempted.  Finally, two days before the race, when someone posted a bib for $10 and included a parking pass, I could not pass on that deal!  My outdoor soccer game was not against a challenging team and we have enough players for the 2 indoor games in the evening.  I felt like it was meant to be!

My "preparation" for this race was minimal compared to last year.  I've been trying to run 2-4 miles a few days a week, and have done 2-3 long runs (6-8 miles) on the weekends since January.  Colin prefers sprint training to long, steady runs, so once or twice a week, we'd do a 1.5 mile warm up run (8:30-9 min mile), followed by 10 sprints (13 second sprints, 1 minute rest).  But, honestly, since starting a new job mid-January, I've been sitting on my butt in the office a lot more, eating out more, and just not as regimented as I'd like to be (and as I used to be!).

Going into the race, I wasn't sure what to expect.  I didn't have my typical pre-race spaghetti dinner, instead eating a hodgepodge of leftovers (which were not high carb items - except for the birthday cake!).  But, I did instantly fall asleep around 9:45pm.  Even with my early bedtime, 5:45am came too early and I soon learned that we didn't really have any carbohydrates for breakfast! That's right - no cereal, no bread, no bagels - I was without my typical pre-event staples.  Instead, I had to rely on some won-ton wraps filled with eggs and a cup of coffee.

Yes, it was dark at 6:50am!

Just before 7am, I entered the middle-back of the starting line and wondered again why people do this to themselves.  It was still dark, I was still grumpy, but everyone else seemed overjoyed to be racing!  I set my watch for a 9-minute-mile (my goal being under 2 hours for this 13.1 mile race) and took off at a slow jog/walk with a packed crowd around me when the gun went off.

It took about a mile to get through the crowd and find my pace.  I soon found a pace runner for the 2 hour finish time and felt good passing them.  Unfortunately, I soon realized there were several pace runners that indicated a 2 hour finish time.  My pace evened out to a 8:20-minute-mile around mile 2 and there it stayed for most of the race.  Similar to last year, passing people, cool temperatures, and people cheering all kept me motivated during the run.  The mostly flat course was also helpful.  Since I didn't have a running buddy this time around, I listened to some podcasts on my mp3 player to keep myself entertained.

Still kinda dark at the start of the tobacco trail (mile 4ish)

I felt great from the start of the race until mile 8 - the only real incline - but I got over it quickly and kept on going.

Much better when it's light and less populated!

I will admit that I had to play mind games for the last 3 miles of the race.  The one thing I hated about the race was going out in one direction and then turning around and coming back on the same course.  The fast runners motivated me when I saw them going by me in the opposite direction, but there was little motivation once I turned the corner and saw the slower runners behind me.  And even though the American Tobacco Trail is pretty, seeing it for over an hour can be boring!

I pushed through the mental and physical challenges I experienced near the end and finished the final mile with my fastest split time (7:55).

So happy to see the end!

When I finished, however, I did feel sick to my stomach - bumming me out that I couldn't eat all the free food available (fresh bread, pizza, smoothies, fruit, juice, etc.). I definitely wish I had eaten more carbs the evening before and a few more carbs at breakfast so I wouldn't have felt so gross at the end.

Overall, I was thrilled with my time (13.1 miles in 1 hour, 49 minutes = 8:20-minute-mile)!  It was much better than my 10 miler last year and it showed me I didn't need to do a structured training program to be successful.  Some might say that if I had trained more, maybe I would not have felt sick at the end.  That may also be true.

I am happy to finally have accomplished a half marathon, since I had set a goal to do it.  I still do not consider myself a runner.  I don't enjoy getting up early in the morning to run.  I don't look forward to a race at the starting line.  And, I hate "having to get a run in" for training purposes.  When people comment that I run fast, my answer is that I run fast during a race so I can be finished with it sooner!  My enjoyable running experiences come on a nice, sunny, spring or fall day, with temperatures in the 60's or 70's when I can enjoy more of my surroundings with a run, as opposed to a shorter walk.

Birthday Celebration

I had the great pleasure of having my day of birth celebrated last week.

Because of preparations necessary for a work retreat, I found myself in the office for 70% of the day.  Thankfully, I was greeted by a few nice surprises...

My office door decorated with a boa and Happy Birthday signs 

A tiara, balloon and vanilla cupcakes on my desk!

After work, I had a few errands to run before getting a massage!  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of that hour of my day and came home in a peaceful state to a wonderfully prepared dinner.  Colin made his specialty - grilled portabello mushroom sandwiches - and baked a strawberry-rhubarb pie as an added treat. My friend Laural and her boyfriend Nate also gave me a chocolate fudge cake (I do love chocolate cake!!).  Since the weather was fantastic, Colin and I turned on the patio lights and enjoyed our dinner on the back deck.  It was a beautiful way to end the day.

The flowers I received from Colin and my brother were beautiful -

and added beautiful colors and scents to the house for days.

Strawberry-rhubarb pie baked by Chef Colin (left)

Chocolate fudge cake gifted by Laural and Nate (right)

It is a nice feeling to have things done for you on a special day, but I feel it's much more important to be able to celebrate our own lives as often as possible.  I am happy with the person I am, the choices I've made for myself, and the people who share my life with me.  I don't think it is necessary to have a day where people celebrate me because I should be celebrating my own life.  Some days I am better at it than others, and having friends and family share in regular celebrations is nice for us social people.  But with each passing year I find myself celebrating my life internally and in a calm way, reflecting on the person I am, and setting goals to continue to become better.  


In the upcoming year, the 31st of my life, I want to continue to support organizations that provide programs or services I believe in (such as the environment, education, and basic individual needs) not just financially, but through volunteerism.  In addition to giving to others, I want to take more time to reflect on taking care of my needs so that I can be better to others.


If you'd like to share, I'd like to hear your thoughts about celebrating your life.

Good ol North Carolina BBQ

Last week we decided to try some North Carolina barbecue for our date night. We've been wanting to find a good BBQ place to take friends when they visit and many people had suggested "The Pit," located in downtown Raleigh, for authentic eats. The restaurant has been featured on The Food Network and other TV programs.

We debated ordering some appetizers, but I'm glad we did not because they brought us some hush puppies and cornbread shortly after we ordered our meals. Wikipedia provides a detailed history of hush puppies, or deep fried cornmeal balls, if you are interested in reading up on them. Personally, I prefer regular cornbread to hush puppies.

Hush puppies and biscuits for the table.

I ordered a "Western NC BBQ" entree consisting of a half rack of ribs and Colin opted for the "Eastern NC BBQ" in the form of pulled pork. We also tried ordering sides that would be consistent with our North Carolina BBQ meal.

Eastern North Carolina barbecue pulled pork, collard greens, and mac n cheese 

Apparently, there is a whole science to BBQ in North Carolina. "Eastern-NC-Style BBQ is plain whole-hog pork meat, with just the tiniest bit of vinegar-based "sauce" which isn't a sauce at all, applied as a moistening agent." It also includes bare traces of hot pepper and a minimum amount of additional flavorings. I've had it a few times, never expecting it to taste good, but it always surprises me with its delicious flavor. Thankfully, I've been steered in the right direction on all 3 occasions where I've eaten Eastern NC BBQ (the state fair, Doug Sauls near Nashville, NC, and now The Pit in Raleigh).

I have always loved sweet barbecue sauces, which is why I chose the Western NC BBQ. This BBQ (also know as "Lexington"-style) differs from Eastern style in two distinct ways: 1) it's always made from pork shoulders only, and 2) it uses a real sauce, of which heavy doses of ketchup are added to the vinegar base universally, and often a small amount of sugar is added as well. My ribs in this Western sauce were delicious!

Western North Carolina half rack of ribs, black eyed peas, and broccoli salad 

Both meats were very tasty. I've read that Eastern NC BBQ either tastes delicious or is horrible and is a difficult process to master. Since Colin and I both enjoyed it, I would feel confident recommending "The Pit" for people wanting to experience either style of NC BBQ. While the meat was good, I give our sides mixed reviews. The mac and cheese was the highlight of the side dishes, with its great flavor and a perfectly baked consistency. The black eyed peas were the worst, completely lacking in flavor (though the consistency was good). The collards were okay, leaving me wishing for a little more flavor. And lastly, the broccoli salad was also okay. The flavor tasted okay, but it just seemed like they doused vegetables in a creamy ranch-type sauce.

We knew we had to save some room for dessert, since The Pit's signature dessert, the banana pudding, came highly recommended. Since we ate the hush puppies and cornbread, we saved some of our entrees to take home. The dessert was good, but I would definitely not say amazing. The presentation of the dish was wonderful, the bananas in the dish were plentiful, but I expected more consistency than just bananas, pudding and whipped cream. A little graham cracker, wafers, or pie crust would have likely made me love it.

Banana pudding for dessert 

Last week I posted about eating vegetarian and trying to choose sustainable meat. This week I put all of that to the side to enjoy some North Carolina barbecue. I didn't ask where the meat came from because I was afraid of the answer. And Colin and I wanted to find a good North Carolina barbecue place where we could take friends who come to visit. Thankfully, I can feel better about the meat I ate after looking at The Pit's website, which tells me their "pigs are all raised in North Carolina using free-range farming practices, and the freshest of the state's bountiful produce is featured in the starters, sides and desserts." While the produce is most likely not organic, I love that they get their produce from local sources.

By no means would I consider our meals healthy. The healthiest things on our plates were the black eyed peas - and they had no flavor. By limiting ourselves to one night where we go out to eat, we are limiting the excess calories, fat, and sodium we eat. Most of the days of the week, we eat healthy foods like plain oatmeal, eggs (with veggies), soups, vegetables, fruits, and entrees that include lots of vegetables. We are suckers for salty snacks (like tortilla chips and sesame sticks), but for the most part the rest of our foods are fresh.

I've done a fair amount of travel for work this week, so we didn't do our usual date night early in the week. Plus, it's my birthday today, so we might go out to celebrate with dinner this weekend. But, since the weather's been so nice, I'd prefer to have a nice meal cooked at home (hopefully complements of chef Colin!) and enjoyed out on the patio! I'll keep you posted!!

How do celebrate your birthday?

A Darwin Update

Someone continues to be petrified of riding in the car ... even on the way to fun doggie day care.

Check out the video I took of him shaking on our way to camp!

He isn't so bad on the way home... probably because he's so tired.

And after a full day of playing with his buddies, he's out for the evening!  And yes, this lasts for a few hours.

Here's a recap of the routine after a day at camp:

1. Nap for 30 minutes -1 hour,

2. Get off the couch and stretch in "down dog" and "up dog" poses,

3. Check things out, go to the bathroom, etc. (play time occurs for a bit if he can muster the energy),

4. Get back on the couch for another 30 minutes - 1 hour nap,

5. Continue the process from 7pm - bedtime (11ish).

It is so funny to see him during his "REM" sleep.  Sometimes he breathes real heavy, and then gives short huffing noises through his jowls.  You can usually see his eyes moving under his closed eyelids.  And his body typically experiences some serious twitching.  Like a baby, it's amusing to watch him in deep sleep.

Day camp is worth the $23 to have a day where puppy energy is released and we have an "evening off."  

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - our puppy is our child.  I've cleaned up his vomit and diarrhea, been woken up in the middle of the night with his barking, enjoyed snuggling on the couch together, and look forward to picking him up from day care once a week!  I know children give people great joy (even through the tribulations), but there are so many similarities between children and dogs (especially puppies)!

PS - I don't want to jinx it, but 1 week on new dog food and we haven't experienced an upset stomach.  Keeping my fingers crossed that this pattern continues!!

Any suggestions for improving his comfort in the car??

Date Night Goes Vegetarian

Colin and I are always looking for good vegetarian meals.  We subscribe to the philosophy of eating better quality meat and less often. As a result, we end up cooking vegetarian meals pretty often.

So much of the meat we find in the grocery store has come from animals raised in horrible conditions on factory farms, where the animals are fed grains to fatten up quickly.  Because cows are not meant to eat grains, but rather to graze on grass, their man-made diet causes ulcers in their stomach and so we humans medicate them with antibiotics.  I'm not going to get into the health concerns that raises in humans, or the environmental impacts - you can research that on your own when you are ready to connect with the reality of where your meat comes from.

I will say that I care about my health and I care about the harm that is done to the environment in the name of capitalism.  I recognize that Americans want their meat on the table and agriculture has done what is necessary to meet demand, but I know that the amount we now consume is not the process of natural selection.  

I could get into the science behind the fact that most Americans only require 50-100 grams of protein per day and that some burgers at fast food joints provide a whole day's supply of protein in one burger (and excess calories and fat).  But, I'll spare you ... this time.

Instead, I'll focus on our experience dining at one of WRAL's five fave vegetarian restaurants.  We started at the top of the list with "Remedy Diner" in the heart of downtown Raleigh, around the corner from Moore Square.  Their menu of "remedies" and "prescriptions" offered variety for diners spanning the spectrum from vegan, to vegetarian, to omnivorous.  

I enjoy vegetarian options at restaurants because I don't have to stress about where my meat came from, but I am frequently frustrated by the fact that many vegetarian restaurants primarily offer soy substitutes for meat.  I suspect I have a slight allergy to soy, so I try not to consume it in large quantities.  And, I want to eat a plate full of vegetables that taste good and are satisfying.  The frustration I have with soy substitutes is that people (myself included) have become so conditioned to a solid mass on our plate, that we require vegetarian equivalents to meat.

The Remedy Diner's vegetarian menu was typical - offering a variety of soy entrees, and a black bean burger and portobello mushroom sandwich for the non-soy eaters.  They also offered real deli meat sandwiches, informing patrons that they "only use Boar's Head meats which contain no fillers, gluten, artificial colors, flavors, or trans fat."  But, that doesn't tell us anything about how that animal was raised.  As far as I know Boar's Head does not source local, sustainable meat, and actually has a link to the "American Meat Institute's refute to the myths provided in the movie Food, Inc.

Colin ordered the "tempeh tantrum" sandwich, which was marinated tempeh with vegan pesto, vegan bacon, avocado and lettuce on sourdough.  I had the black bean burger, because I was not going to get meat or soy at a vegetarian restaurant and Colin makes really good portobello sandwiches.  The item I most looked forward to was the chickpea soup we had as a side. 

 Above: Colin's tempeh sandwich and chickpea soup

Below: My black bean burger and garden salad

The food was very flavorful, though we both wondered if the soup taste came from a high-sodium bouillon cube.  The pesto, avocado and "fake" bacon on Colin's tempeh was delicious (I just had a bite).  And my black bean burger was also delicious and maintained a good consistency in the bun.

We haven't mastered the art of making a good black bean burger at home ... yet! 

I realized later that the diner offered vegan cheese, which I always assumed was another "fake" cheese made from soy.  When I looked up Daiya cheese on wikipedia, I found out that it is actually made from cassava and arrowroot.  I'll have to try it out sometime.

Since our dinners were not too over-indulgent, we decided to split a dessert.  The "chess pie" - a pie that looked and tasted like a cookie, was really good!  The soft consistency of the cookie and very rich flavor were likely a result of lots of butter - but I did enjoy every bite.

Chess pie for dessert

Overall, the meal was tasty.  We were able to eat a few servings of vegetables between the salad, soup, and sandwiches, but I'm sure the calories, sugar, fat and salt outweighed any benefits from the vegetables.  We certainly could have gone without the dessert to cut down on some calories, fat, and sugar.  I would have preferred more vegetable based entrees, but the menu was to be expected for a vegetarian diner.  The atmosphere was very laid-back, with a college feel that brought me back to UVM.  

Stay tuned for more posts about Miller adventures! The weather is getting warmer, which means we should be getting back to outdoor activities - which we need after all this going out to eat!!  I expect there to be a weekly, or biweekly semimonthly fortnightly post about our date nights since I will be traveling for work much of this month and will be eating on the road during the day.  I'm not a fan of dining out for lunch AND dinner!

But I wonder - have you ever had daiya cheese?  If so, is it good?

A weekend of home projects

This weekend was one of home projects, cleaning, and helping.

We finally broke down and purchased a TV

This weekend we mounted it to the wall above the fireplace!

I also installed some blinds, helped a friend clean her apartment, cleaned our house, and did some cooking.  It wasn't all work, though.  We enjoyed the new living room setup with some Rock Band, and I finished reading "The Art of Racing in the Rain."  It was such a good book - one I will be reviewing on Goodreads (my book sharing website) soon.

This week, I'm looking forward to dinner/"date night" on Tuesday, traveling to the coast for work presentation on Thursday and finally getting rid of a cold I've been fighting all weekend.  I've been loading up on the fruits and veggies and need to continue the healthy eating the next few days so the final lingering congestion will be gone.  I didn't get to exercise as much as usual because of the cold and not-so-great weather, so hopefully that will also get back on track.

Here's to the start of a great (and healthy) week!

What are you looking forward to this week?