A Trip Down Memory Lane

Last week, I had the opportunity to gather with fellow Portuguese people here in North Carolina and a monthly dinner sponsored by the "Portuguese Association of North Carolina (PANC)."  As the group, now a non-profit organization, looks to build the organization, I find myself thinking about my upbringing and my culture.

For those of you who don't know, I grew up in a very close-knit Portuguese community in Rhode Island.  Our community offered lots of opportunities to get together with other Portuguese families in a variety of settings.  I frequently half-joke with people that my life was a little like the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."  I went to Portuguese school as an after-school program, gossip spread like wildfire, and it was/is more common for a Portuguese person to date and marry a fellow Portuguese person that to be with an "American."

I'll never forget the day, my sophomore year of college, when we talked about gemienschaft versus a gesellschaft in my sociology class.  At the time, I had only lived in my hometown and in the college community in Burlington, Vermont and knew that I had always lived in a gemeinschaft, where my beliefs and actions were more a result of the large association of my community (the Portuguese community in RI and the college community in VT), as opposed to my own self-interest.  Sure, I had non-Portuguese friends and did things that were uncommon from tradition as I grew up, but, for the most part, my world revolved around being Portuguese.

From grades 2-7, I attended Portuguese school in the evenings, learning about the culture, language, history, and geography of this small country.  I can still remember most of the 13 provinces, the first president, many of the explorers, and some of the major rivers.  In 4th grade, I started taking clarinet lessons in school, and joined our Portuguese social club's band, like many of my peers.  Shortly thereafter, I also joined one of the two Portuguese folk dancing groups in our town.  The band and the folk dancing group usually attended the same events (there is a feast for a saint in almost every Portuguese town in RI and southeastern MA every weekend from June to August), so I'd go from being in my band outfit for the marching parade, to my folk outfit to perform, and lastly into some "normal" clothes to hang out with friends, and dance at the feast.

My social club's band continues to march in parades all over RI
Photo courtesy of the Lusitania Club's Facebook page 

My folk dancing group continues to perform all over RI
Photo courtesy of my former director's Facebook page 

My social club continues hold a feast celebrating St. John every June and the church hosts an Our Lady of Fatima Feast Labor Day weekend.  A feast is 3 nights of live music, cultural performances, lots of food/alcohol and crowds like you see here.
Photo courtesy of the Lusitania Club's Facebook page 

If you can imagine, I was a pretty busy kid.  These events were things I did to celebrate my culture, but I was also into sports and played year-round competitive soccer for most of my life.  I guess when you're so busy with extra-curricular activities, there is no time to get into trouble.  

Though it seemed like a lot, I enjoyed it.  It was fun to meet lots of people, have friends to do these things with, and experience a variety of things the Portuguese and the American world had to offer.  I hardly ever sat around watching TV, never played video games, and never remember thinking that I was bored.  In fact, I went to Montreal and New Jersey a few times with the band, and even went to Portugal, a tour that included playing at the President's palace!  I can't think of very many kids who had a more enriching youth.

After finishing up 6 years of college and grad school, I had my first experience living in a gesellschaft.  NYC is the epitome of a gesellschaft  - a place where almost everyone acts in their own self interest and defies social and cultural norms.  After spending 24 years living in places with "built-in" communities, I struggled to define my interests and find a place to fit in.  I had spent all my life trying to excel within cultural and societal norms (which were very different in RI, VT, and Tennessee).  

In NYC, I met, and became friends with, some Portuguese people who worked with me and played soccer with me, but going to their feasts was just not the same (although it was funny to see some of my RI friends at the feasts in Newark!!).  Even the friends I made playing soccer were nice, but I just struggled to find my niche.  I didn't know how to act in a gesellschaft - it made me realize that I had to define what I wanted for myself and what I enjoyed.  It was not an easy process to initiate and it is a process that will likely continue throughout my life.

My "gemeinschaft" in NYC ultimately became my home.  The cultural and societal norms that defined my actions became the things my husband and I did together - like hiking, playing volleyball, running, joining a community supported agriculture program (CSA) and traveling- which were things were both enjoyed.  And I still did some things with friends I made in the city - like playing soccer and going out dancing.

I still struggle to act in my own self interest - Colin is a lot better at it than I am.  I'm certainly not saying that is the better way to be or that I want to completely just think about me.  There are wonderful benefits to being a part of a close community - people look out for each other and help each other when needed, there are lots of opportunities to be social, etc.  But, I admire those who can do things for themselves to be truly happy, especially those whose self interests benefit others and society as a whole.  That is what I aspire for myself.

So, while the Portuguese Association of North Carolina (PANC) looks to provide a gemeinschaft for families here, I will continue to attend the monthly dinners when I can.  Through these dinners, perhaps I will find an opportunity to help the group with their endeavor through something that satisfies my own self interest.

Last week's Portuguese dinner included several delicious entrees.

Not to brag, but my bacalhau (white dish) was a hit!!

My first half marathon

Many of you may know that I've been talking about doing a half marathon for over a year now.

Last winter I set a goal to do a half marathon in my 30th year.  At the time, my roommate and some of her friends were training for a 10 mile race, so she and I did some long runs (6-8 miles) together.  I was following a Runner's World magazine program I found for free online that included long runs on the weekends, and 2-4 mile runs during the week, many of which included 4 x 100 meter sprints, sprints during the run, and increasing the pace up hills.  I trained for a solid 2 months, but struggled to find a half marathon to suit my desire for a local, fun first race. When the Tarheel 10 mile race approached and a racing number was available, I jumped at the chance to run through UNC Chapel Hill's campus with my roomie and her friends.

We had a delicious pasta dinner hosted by a fellow runner and her family, and I went to bed at a reasonable hour.  When the alarm got me up before 6am, I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of running 10 miles, but I had some breakfast, a little coffee and was chauffeured the 40 minutes to Chapel Hill by my wonderful husband.

At the starting line, I met up with our group near the back of the 10-minute-mile pace and after a few photos, we were off!

The "10-minute-mile" group

I quickly got my roommate, Jen, to keep pace with me around an 8:20-8:40 minute mile and we started passing people.  That became one of my favorite parts of the race - seeing someone ahead of me that I could catch up to and pass.  Maybe it comes from my competitive spirit.  

The cool temperatures, scenic views, and cheering kept us motivated to keep racing, but the hills made keeping a fast pace difficult.  I felt pretty good around the 8:30-minute-mile pace through most of the race, but my running buddy slowed it down a bit around mile 8.  With a 1 mile hill incline and 2 miles left, I continued pushing and finished the race in 1 hour and 26 minutes - an average pace of 8:35 minutes per mile. Jen finished shortly after.  I felt great at the end of the run and enjoyed some snacks before my sweat turned cold and made me want to go home!

 The race finishers!

We both felt like we should have been first place!

Fast forward almost a year, to a 31st birthday and no half marathon under my belt.  Getting a puppy in May made training for a race difficult, especially when the vet told us not to run too much with him until he stopped growing.  I kept looking for races, but could not commit to one, so I readjusted my plan.  Instead of racing a half marathon in my 30th year, I committed to racing one as soon as I could make it work.

I didn't want to have to travel far for a race. I enjoy my home and my bed and I am NOT a morning person!  I also didn't want to spend a lot of money for a race.  I know people enjoy giving their money to a good cause, and I do give to charities on my own.  But, I hate the concept of paying to run!

I set my eyes on two upcoming races. The first was the Tobacco Road half marathon March 18th and the second was the Run Raleigh half marathon April 15.  Because the Tobacco Road half marathon sold out very early in the year, I put a craigslist search on my phone to see if someone was selling a race bib. I also checked the Run Raleigh site several times about to pull the trigger on commitment - failing each time.  The challenge I had is that my soccer game on April 15th is against a challenging team and I feel as though I will be letting my team down by not being "100%" after a race.  I didn't commit to the Tobacco Road race when it was still open because I had 3 soccer games scheduled that day.

As March 18th drew closer and people were posting $40 race bibs for sale on Craigslist, I kept feeling tempted.  Finally, two days before the race, when someone posted a bib for $10 and included a parking pass, I could not pass on that deal!  My outdoor soccer game was not against a challenging team and we have enough players for the 2 indoor games in the evening.  I felt like it was meant to be!

My "preparation" for this race was minimal compared to last year.  I've been trying to run 2-4 miles a few days a week, and have done 2-3 long runs (6-8 miles) on the weekends since January.  Colin prefers sprint training to long, steady runs, so once or twice a week, we'd do a 1.5 mile warm up run (8:30-9 min mile), followed by 10 sprints (13 second sprints, 1 minute rest).  But, honestly, since starting a new job mid-January, I've been sitting on my butt in the office a lot more, eating out more, and just not as regimented as I'd like to be (and as I used to be!).

Going into the race, I wasn't sure what to expect.  I didn't have my typical pre-race spaghetti dinner, instead eating a hodgepodge of leftovers (which were not high carb items - except for the birthday cake!).  But, I did instantly fall asleep around 9:45pm.  Even with my early bedtime, 5:45am came too early and I soon learned that we didn't really have any carbohydrates for breakfast! That's right - no cereal, no bread, no bagels - I was without my typical pre-event staples.  Instead, I had to rely on some won-ton wraps filled with eggs and a cup of coffee.

Yes, it was dark at 6:50am!

Just before 7am, I entered the middle-back of the starting line and wondered again why people do this to themselves.  It was still dark, I was still grumpy, but everyone else seemed overjoyed to be racing!  I set my watch for a 9-minute-mile (my goal being under 2 hours for this 13.1 mile race) and took off at a slow jog/walk with a packed crowd around me when the gun went off.

It took about a mile to get through the crowd and find my pace.  I soon found a pace runner for the 2 hour finish time and felt good passing them.  Unfortunately, I soon realized there were several pace runners that indicated a 2 hour finish time.  My pace evened out to a 8:20-minute-mile around mile 2 and there it stayed for most of the race.  Similar to last year, passing people, cool temperatures, and people cheering all kept me motivated during the run.  The mostly flat course was also helpful.  Since I didn't have a running buddy this time around, I listened to some podcasts on my mp3 player to keep myself entertained.

Still kinda dark at the start of the tobacco trail (mile 4ish)

I felt great from the start of the race until mile 8 - the only real incline - but I got over it quickly and kept on going.

Much better when it's light and less populated!

I will admit that I had to play mind games for the last 3 miles of the race.  The one thing I hated about the race was going out in one direction and then turning around and coming back on the same course.  The fast runners motivated me when I saw them going by me in the opposite direction, but there was little motivation once I turned the corner and saw the slower runners behind me.  And even though the American Tobacco Trail is pretty, seeing it for over an hour can be boring!

I pushed through the mental and physical challenges I experienced near the end and finished the final mile with my fastest split time (7:55).

So happy to see the end!

When I finished, however, I did feel sick to my stomach - bumming me out that I couldn't eat all the free food available (fresh bread, pizza, smoothies, fruit, juice, etc.). I definitely wish I had eaten more carbs the evening before and a few more carbs at breakfast so I wouldn't have felt so gross at the end.

Overall, I was thrilled with my time (13.1 miles in 1 hour, 49 minutes = 8:20-minute-mile)!  It was much better than my 10 miler last year and it showed me I didn't need to do a structured training program to be successful.  Some might say that if I had trained more, maybe I would not have felt sick at the end.  That may also be true.

I am happy to finally have accomplished a half marathon, since I had set a goal to do it.  I still do not consider myself a runner.  I don't enjoy getting up early in the morning to run.  I don't look forward to a race at the starting line.  And, I hate "having to get a run in" for training purposes.  When people comment that I run fast, my answer is that I run fast during a race so I can be finished with it sooner!  My enjoyable running experiences come on a nice, sunny, spring or fall day, with temperatures in the 60's or 70's when I can enjoy more of my surroundings with a run, as opposed to a shorter walk.