Life on the Road Less Traveled: Rose Estelle Miller's Birth Story

The thought of writing a birth story, a story about the most physical and emotional experience of my life, is overwhelming. As each day passes, I seem to remember and forget various moments of those 24(ish) hours and I'm glad Colin was there with me to help me capture and document as much as I can.

Since finding out I was pregnant so many months ago, I knew I wanted to experience childbirth in as natural state as possible. Not because I welcomed the pain, but because I wanted my child to be born in a chemical-free environment and because women have birthed naturally for thousands of years. I thought "if others can do it, so can I." Choosing to birth at the Women's Birth and Wellness Center (WBWC) in Chapel Hill provided me with the comfort of experienced midwives while offering an experience in line with my goals of letting nature take its course. I appreciate modern medicine and am glad we can now save mothers and babies when things go wrong and I was glad that the WBWC could advise me if medical intervention was necessary.

During the last several weeks of my pregnancy, I received reassurance week after week that the baby was not in a breech position, though she seemed to be facing forward instead of backward (which would result in back labor). I was given some exercises to try and turn her and would do many of these on an exercise ball in the final weeks.

Then, on Wednesday February 5th, during my 39-week appointment and just several hours after having my baby shower at work, the midwife shared with me that my body was preparing for labor and that it could happen soon. I had started having stronger and longer Braxton-Hicks contractions, but other than that, didn't feel any differently.

Since Thursdays are my work-from-home day, I was fortunate to be able to sit on a balance ball and do some of my exercises as I worked. I continued to have some mild contractions that did not have any pattern to them throughout the day and didn't think much of it until they strengthened and became painful before bedtime. Freaking out a little bit, I downloaded an app on my phone to time them and see if there was a pattern developing, and sure enough they were lasting between 30-45 seconds and about 10 minutes apart around 11pm-12am.

Throughout the course of the night I checked in with the on-call midwives a few times, updating them on my progress. At one point, I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart, but then they went back to being 7-8 minutes apart later. The back labor was extremely painful and I only temporarily found relief in my bathtub at home. The position that felt most comfortable was being on my hands and knees, which made trying to lay down and sleep almost impossible. The midwives advised Tylenol PM and propping some pillows under my abdomen to try and sleep. I managed about an hour of on-and-off sleep on Friday morning, just before the contractions progressed to 3-4 minutes apart.

When I hit this next phase, the midwives advised me to come in. The drive to the birthing center was surprisingly quick and calm. I had been worried about weather, traffic, driving through UNC's campus during the time when classes let out, etc., but none of that was a problem. We weren't in a rush and there wasn't any traffic, just a somewhat uncomfortable 30 minutes between home and my arrival.

The midwife and nurse were ready for me and calmly checked the baby's heartbeat with a fetal monitor and checked the baby's progress. The heartbeat was good and I had reached 8cm dilation. Little did I know at the time that it would take another several hours to reach the full 10cm.

During the next several hours, from about 1pm until my water broke around 6pm, I labored in the large tub in my private room, while the Jack Johnson Pandora station played on my phone. I had tried the Tens machine (electric current) on my back when I first arrived, but that seemed to intensify the back labor and not distract from it. The tub offered me the relief I needed to endure the contractions all afternoon.

My tub at the WBWC

My room at WBWC

Not long after my water broke, the midwife began suggesting laboring in various positions, which I did until Rose was born at 9:13pm. There was one moment of humor where I took in my surroundings and noticed the midwife, nurse, and Colin all watching me and waiting. I was able to joke about the awkwardness of the scene. The final stages of labor were certainly a challenge and I was grateful for the coaching and support all three of those people gave. I remember it hurting, but as many mothers have said and I agree, I no longer remember what the pain felt like, only that it hurt. The moment I will never forget is looking down at my daughter's purple/ashy body as she was brought to my arms - where she stayed for the next couple of hours. Of all the events of that day, that moment remains as vivid now as it was at the time. It's also funny that I remember Weezer's "Say it Ain't So" came on Pandora just before I went into what felt like "the zone."

Thankfully, we experienced no complications after Rose was born. Her heart rate was on the upper end of normal at the beginning, but quickly normalized. The midwives would also share that Rose decided not to tuck her chin as she entered the world, but rather wanted to look up as she came out (resulting in a very small tear and 3 stitches). She continued absorbing her new surroundings by keeping her beautiful big blue eyes open for several hours and not giving in to sleep until the early hours Saturday morning. We were eager to share the news with our families and called our parents and siblings as soon as we were settled.

Colin giving Rose some skin-to-skin contact shortly after birth

The WBWC requires a minimum stay of 4 hours and a maximum stay of 12 hours, and we debated whether or not to spend the night. Since I was feeling well (thanks to the pregnancy hormones!) and we had mostly figured out how to breastfeed (though it's still a work in progress), we decided we'd spend the night in our home. Rose was weighed, measured, received her vitamin K shot and had her pulse and heart rate checked and I was given my postpartum care instructions while Colin packed up our things and got the car started.

Colin resting at the birthing center as I get ready to head home

In hindsight, it all went by in a blur and it was helpful to have written instructions to follow. By 1:30am, we were on our way back to our home in Cary and we were introducing Rose to Darwin by 2am. We brought him outside to greet Rose in the car and then the driveway and then I picked her up and had him sniff her on the couch. He seemed curious and sniffed, but thankfully he didn't bark or get agitated. It was a good introduction before we all went to bed to start our new life as a family of 4.