Zoe Lucia Miller Makes an Adventurous Debut

Zoe Lucia Miller
9/9/15 at 3:35am
6lbs, 11.1oz and 20"

I left many of you in suspense about Zoe's birth story with a vague announcement on Facebook regarding an unplanned home birth.  The short version of the story is that I was laboring at home, waiting for contractions to get closer than 10 minutes apart and had called the midwife about 3am to let her know I was in labor and to seek guidance. We decided to wait 30 minutes since they were intense, but still far apart. During one of my contractions, right around 3:30am, I felt the urge to push and thought it was my water breaking, so I rushed to the bathroom. Sure enough, my water broke and out popped the baby's head, followed by the body. Thankfully, I felt the head coming out and grabbed it one with hand and her body with the other, avoiding her fall into the toilet or onto the bathroom floor!  I guess you can say I delivered my own baby hovered over the toilet in our half bathroom and received post-delivery assistance from Colin and my mom, followed by the Cary fire department and EMT, and later by the hospital labor and delivery team.

Now that the experience is behind us and everyone is okay, the story is pretty amazing. At the time, it was a stressful and adrenaline-filled night.

The week leading up to my due date was a little stressful as I tried to wrap some things up at work and we had family visiting on their way to and from Disney. Since Rose was born three days early, I thought that I might be early with my second baby too.  I asked her to wait until the Labor Day weekend so I could leave my work a little better organized. And, I wished she would wait until after our family (of 4 adults and 3 kids) made their trip through Cary.  I didn't care as much if she came before or after their visit, but I definitely didn't want to go into labor while they were with us. 

On Tuesday afternoon (Sept 8), around 4pm, our family departed for upstate New York and I had not yet gone into labor. For most of the day, I had been experiencing stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions, but I was on my feet most of the day, walking to and from the local playground (about 3/4 mile each way) and helping with meals, etc. I don't know if my body held out until the stresses of hosting were over, or if I finally started paying better attention to my body, but around 6 or 7pm, I had my first painful contractions that stopped me in my tracks. After putting Rose to bed, I downloaded the contraction timer app on my phone, and while doing a little work and watching the Brazil-US soccer game on TV, started timing the contractions. I didn't really think there was any pattern to them, but with the timer, I realized they were about 10-12 minutes apart. The labor was so different than my labor with Rose, so I didn't take it that seriously. The pain was centered in my lower abdomen, and didn't radiate to the back at all. With Rose, I had painful back labor for about 18 hours.

Colin went to bed around 10pm, my mom around 11pm, and I went around 12am, not expecting to sleep much. Surprisingly, I slept about an hour or hour and a half before waking to much more painful contractions.  At 1:30a, I started timing contractions again. For about an hour, they kept coming about 10 minutes apart. I'd have one or two contractions that would come a little closer (like 7 minutes), but would then go back to 10 minutes. Around 2:45a, I called the midwife's answering service to check in, and the midwife called me back by 3am. She asked what I wanted to do, but I didn't really know. The contractions were very painful, but I assumed labor could continue like that for awhile. In hindsight, I do recall a few contractions being so painful that I wasn't sure I could do labor without meds again. I should have realized this was the transition period and that I was getting close.

With the midwife, we decided to wait 30 minutes for another check-in. In those 30 minutes, I got back into bed and Colin helped me breath through the pain. I had one contraction that made me push, so I did, and then a second made me feel like my water was about to break, so I pushed a little as I made my way to the half bathroom on the main floor. With Rose's bedroom next to the upstairs bath, and my mom sleeping in the master bedroom, the half bath was the best choice.  Once I got to the bathroom, I pushed more fully and felt a huge gush of water as my water broke. I also felt something else and when I reached down, I felt my daughter's head. This is when the adrenaline kicked into high gear and I popped up off the toilet and reached my second hand down to catch the body.

Yes... it was crazy, and I am so glad for productive instincts.  I immediately called for Colin, who was upstairs already getting dressed because he had assumed it was time to leave for the birth center. In his version of the story, he heard my slightly distressed call and started walking to the stairs and then heard a baby cry and flew down the stairs.  As I stared down at the baby in my hands, I was concerned about getting her to breath, so her cry was very welcome. As soon as Colin arrived, he pulled the umbilical cord from her neck and went to get my mother. I kept her close to me as my birth team got me towels and grabbed the "what to do in an emergency" fact sheet that I had packed in our bag. Colin called the midwife and gave the phone to my mother, while he called 9-1-1 and received instructions from the dispatcher.  I was helped down to lay down on the floor, my mom got a shoelace for Colin to tie the umbilical cord, and the first responders arrived within 5-10 minutes or so.  At the time, I didn't realize it, but Zoe had a "true knot" in her umbilical cord, which Colin noticed and loosened when he pulled the cord over her neck. Based on my Google research (and not confirmed by any medical professional), this could have been a problem, especially if labor had been long.

When the fire department arrived, they checked my vitals, Zoe's vitals, and cut the umbilical cord (after asking me if Colin wanted to do it). Colin was busy throwing a barking Darwin back in his crate, and I knew he'd prefer the "professionals do it".  With our stable vitals and a cut cord, the firefighters said there wasn't much left for them to do, so they passed us over to the EMT team, who got me up to the gurney and into the ambulance (because they said there was nothing they needed to do since we were stable).  The trip to the hospital was leisure (no lights/sirens) and only about 10 minutes. Colin followed in our car with our "go-bag" and my mom stayed home with Rose, who slept through all the commotion.

The scene at home when first responders arrived

Leaving home on a gurney, keeping baby Zoe safe and secure

Arrival at the hospital around 4:30am

During the ~30 minutes the first responders were attending to our needs at home, the two concerns I had were the delivery of the placenta and giving Zoe skin-to-skin time to encourage successful breastfeeding. I'm so glad I had a natural childbirth with Rose and knew what to expect or at least what to do. I asked my mother to massage my belly/uterus, and kept Zoe close to my chest while at home, and then offered her the breast as soon as I was able to maneuver it on the gurney.  The time it took from the first responders arrival to arrival at the hospital did feel like a long time, mainly because I didn't know if there would be negative consequences if the placenta remained in the body too long. Thankfully, Zoe latched very easily and nursed about 15-20 minutes during the transport to the hospital and another 10-15 minutes while in labor and delivery.

Once in the hospital, the labor and delivery nurses attended to our needs, gathering information as they waited for the arrival of the midwife. Once the midwife arrived, she guided me in the delivery of the placenta, gave me a few stitches where I had a slight tear on the same line as I did with Rose, helped break up a few clots behind the placenta, and massaged/checked the uterus (all of it very painful).  During this time, Zoe was weighed, measured, and checked, while Colin took some video footage (of her and thankfully not me!).  With both of us receiving good news on vitals and overall health status, I think Colin and I finally were able to breath more easily. I was cleaned up and given a hospital gown, and Zoe, Colin and I were all given admission bracelets. We had to stay in labor and delivery for two hours (starting from when my vitals were taken at 5am) before we could be transported to a maternity room. In those two hours, we had vitals taken and my uterus massaged/checked every 15 minutes. It was not a comfortable or relaxed continuation of the night.

Arrival in Labor and Delivery

Zoe's check up in Labor and Delivery

At 7:30am, we were finally transported to the Maternity room where I would spend the next 28 hours.  We were very clear with the maternity unit staff (nurses, doctors, midwives, etc) that we wanted to spend the least amount of time in the hospital as possible. We were told that Zoe wouldn't be cleared to leave until her 24 hour labs checked out, so we knew the soonest we could leave would be Thursday (9/10) mid-late morning.  I did my best to walk around the hospital unit and keep myself occupied. Sleep was difficult on the uncomfortable bed and was always interrupted by hospital staff or a baby that needed to be fed. As the day progressed, I got more tired, and unfortunately did not sleep much the night I spent there. Zoe apparently needed to cluster feed every hour from about 1am-5am. When we both were in our best sleep Thursday morning, we had lots of hospital staff visits.

Maternity room

Maternity room mid-morning

Zoe fills newborn pajamas lengthwise, but is a bit skinny

Our birth plan was to deliver at the Women's Birth and Wellness Center (WBWC) in Chapel Hill like I did with Rose, and we expected to stay 6-8 hours. In that plan, we didn't expect to have any visitors since our stay was going to be short.  With a 28 hour stay at the hospital, we decided to have Rose come meet her sister in the hospital.  When we were first offered our choice of hospital transport with the EMT team, we checked in with midwife to see if there would be any benefit that made going to the hospital in Chapel Hill worth it. Since there is a hospital just 10 minutes away from our house, and it seemed we were all doing ok, we decided to go to the closer hospital so that Colin and my mom could easily swap out or check in/out as needed.  It meant we'd be on our own and separated from the WBWC team since they do not have hospital privileges at the hospital closest to us. On Thursday afternoon, my mom brought Rose to visit her sister for a little bit and at the end of the visit, I sent my team (Colin and my mom) home to sleep for the night. I knew I could call on the hospital staff if I needed anything overnight, and I needed my support team rested for our arrival.

Rose meets Zoe

In the video, Rose first points out that Zoe is making "bubbles" and that she is a "baby" and her name is "Zoe"

On Thursday morning, Zoe was cleared by the pediatrician after her labs checked out and I was easily cleared by the hospital midwife.  The pediatricians had been concerned about how much cord blood Zoe may have received since we weren't exactly sure at what point the cord was completely clamped/tied off. They also noted a 5% weight reduction, down to 6lbs, 5oz, which was within a normal range.  By 11am, after fixing some issues with the car seat fit, we were packed up and ready to go.  I'd had enough of those four walls, not-so-tasty meals, and poking and prodding by hospital nurses and nurse aids. Colin and I were tired, but ready to start our adventure as a family with two young daughters.

Colin holds his youngest daughter as I prepare to leave

Very tired, but ready to go home

As we arrived home, Rose and my mom were also outside. Rose was so excited to welcome her sister. We also brought Darwin outside to meet Zoe as we did with Rose 19 months ago.  Colin had brought one of Zoe's baby blankets home the night before, so Darwin did get to sniff her scent before meeting her in the driveway.  

We had our first walk on Thursday afternoon, and it's amazing how some fresh air and movement can really do wonders for the soul.  Even with a newborn baby who wants to eat every few hours, we all slept so much better once we were back at home.

On Friday, we continued our care with the WBWC team and had a home visit from the nurse.  Zoe once again passed all her tests with flying colors and Rose had a great time showing the nurse the new baby and observing all that transpired during the visit. We'll have another check up with the WBWC team in Chapel Hill at 2 weeks post-partum and then will start Zoe's care with her pediatrician at one month.

Rose carefully observing how the nurse checks our Zoe

As I said before, I am glad I had a natural childbirth with Rose so that I could react with some confidence in delivering and caring for Zoe as she was born. I'm grateful for a husband who was quick to act and offered as much support as he possibly could, and am grateful my mother was around to help us, clean up after we left, and care for Rose during our extended hospital stay.  I echo Colin's sentiments in that I'd prefer to never have to be responsible for the birth of a baby again.  

I look forward to all the adventures Miss Zoe has in store for us and know I will recount her birth story many times over the years.  It is truly unique and her own, that's for sure.

Rose at 18 Months

Rose at 18.5 months

At 18 months, Rose is a very active and opinionated toddler!  In mid-August, she transitioned from the older infant classroom, where she was the big girl, to the toddler classroom, where she became the baby.  We continue to experience difficulty at school drop off in the morning, but Rose never wants to leave school in the evening. Moving to the older class meant we also had our first two incident reports filed by the school. Apparently Rose fell off the couch and landed on an ear. The fall busted her earring and gave her a small cut.  She was fine by the time we picked her up, but school reported that she needed lots of cuddle time.  She also fell off a chair while standing on it and hit her mouth on the table coming down. Again, by pick up time, she was fine, but the incident left a little scab on her upper lip.  After just one week full time in the 18-24 month class, she adopted the practice of wanting to wash her hands at the sink with soap and water.

Giving a big cheesy smile for the camera

Rose now has 12 teeth - the four front on top and bottom and the four first molars. The month of July was a struggle as those teeth came in. Rose wanted to chew everything, she would have tantrums for no reason that we could figure out, and she just was generally less joyous.  Since the molars have come in, she still has the occasional tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants or if we try to rush her when she's not ready (usually worse if she's tired or hungry), but she is much more her happy, fun self.

While she is still a pretty good eater, she has developed some serious food preferences. Every day when we get home from school, the first words after "Darwy" (for Darwin), are "Cra-cker." The girl fell in love with crackers at school during her molar teething days and now won't quit. She could probably eat them and drink milk at every meal every day.  While it isn't something I'm proud of, we've started using the crackers as bribes to get her to do things she doesn't really love - like get in the car seat. When you're 9 months pregnant, at the end of the work day, it's 90 degrees outside and your 18 month old is screaming because she doesn't want to get in the car seat, you'll do anything to get her to calm down so you can get home.  Besides crackers, cheese, and milk (kefir), Rose loves her beef.  Meatballs, meatloaf, shepherd's pie, burgers, etc. are our staples these days.  She also seems to be satisfied with her oatmeal and eggs each morning. Colin does a good job alternating the oatmeal mix-in. Rose loves the raisins, cinnamon, prune juice mixture (usually reserved to promote a good BM on the weekends), and does a pretty good job when the oatmeal is mixed with strawberries or blueberries.  Sometimes, if Colin hasn't made eggs, Rose will ask for them (eggs sounds like "ice").  We are also at the stage where Rose wants to feed herself. Oatmeal and other sticky foods are not too messy. She does a decent job getting the food from the bowl to her mouth, both with a fork and a spoon. But, sometimes she gets distracted and tips the spoon so that the food spills down her arm, or has a hard time stabbing smaller pieces of food with the fork.  While we occasionally use sippy cups, or cups with straws, Rose has almost always been able to drink directly from a cup. She drinks her milk from a small glass cup and only has an occasional spill if she's not paying attention to how full the glass is.  We tend to give her water in the sippy cup and leave it where she can reach it so that she can drink as she needs water.

Rose spends more time eating at the pool than being in the water

At the 18 month appointment, Rose impressed the doctor with her vocabulary. She has well over 40 words she can communicate, which include: mommy, daddy, Darwy, come, baby, walk, blanket, night-night, ball, eggs, crackers, milk, cheese, raisins, all done (or I'm done), please, thank you, bye-bye, outside, pool, water, trash, shoes, socks, up, car, hat, hot, chair, hands, down, poop (means poop or pee), avo and vovo (grandma and grandpa in portuguese), the Portuguese words soupinha (little soup), chuva (rain), and signs for more, all-done, eat, and potty. She also loves saying the names of her classmates Stella and Locke, and her former teacher Kiki. When prompted, she'll repeat most of the words you tell her and loves making the "choo-choo" and various animal sounds.

Rose loves smiling for selfies

While it would be great to have an 18-month-old potty trained, we haven't really focused on trying. Rose does seem interested in the potty and I expect she will potty train sooner rather than later.  She understands the concept of the potty and helps mommy flush the toilet. When she goes potty in her diaper, she often makes the sign for potty (usually when having a bowel movement), or telling us that she went poop. Poop could mean pee or poop though.  We have a small potty she can use and she does sit on it sometimes. She has successfully peed in it twice in the past month when she was naked, but the first time she proceeded to pee on the wood floor and in her highchair. These latter two were much more substantial than the little tinkle on the potty.  She's still in her crib, so she can't get up to go when she needs to overnight or in the morning and she occasionally takes off her diaper. With the upcoming arrival of baby #2, it would be nice to have Rose out of cloth diapers, so we can just focus on diapering one baby, but I don't want to rush her if she's not ready.

Speaking of cloth diapers, I am proud to say that we have cloth diapered (and used cloth wipes) now for pretty much the entire 18 months Rose has used diapers. With the exception of the first week, a few times during illness and travel, and just one diaper per night since she turned a year, we have used cloth.  My routine continues to be to wash them on Sundays and Thursdays, which is very manageable now that she only gets changed ~4 times a day.  My stash has about 14 Bum Genius and 8 Charlie Bananas diapers, and unfortunately a few have elastics that are getting stretched out.  Not all the teachers at Rose's school know how to put kids in cloth, so she sometimes ends up with them on really tight or leaks because they are too loose.

Rose is a very sweet and loving child. All the teachers at school love her and dote on her. She reciprocates with the best hugs and kisses. She loves being with the teachers (much more than the other kids), and likes to play independently.  At home, she takes care of her two dolls (her babies) and models much of the actions she observes from her teachers at school. It's so cute to see her put her babies down to go "night-night" by covering them with a blanket and patting their backs when they get put down.  She also mimics the teachers by hoisting a baby on her hip like the baby is heavy, and taking the babies for a ride around in their stroller.  She also loves to flip through her books and point out some of her favorite things (like the train, car, ball, etc).

The pictures we get from her activities at school show her to be very attentive during activities that require sitting and listening.  At home, she runs laps around the house, taunting Darwin with various objects.  She now almost always runs where she needs to go instead of walking.  She still loves the swings, and does a very good job going down small and big slides by herself. She is intrigued by older kids (mainly older girls) and frequently wants to do what they do. She and her 4-year-old cousin had a great time playing together during a week at the beach in July. Rose wanted to do everything her cousin did.

Eating some cheese at the beach

Rose is still on the petite side. At 23 pounds and a little over 30", she is at the 30th percentile for weight and the 15th percentile for height - following her growth line fairly consistently.  She's grown out of most of her 18 month clothes and is now in 18-24 month or 24 month outfits. Her feet also remain on the small side and she is transitioning between size 4 and size 5 shoes (depending on the brand and style).  She loves picking out her shoes and sometimes needs to try on a few pairs before deciding which ones to wear for the day. Our little diva also loves carrying around a purse containing her sunglasses.  She is pretty good at taking her shoes (and sometimes socks) off, but still needs help getting shoes on.  When she cooperates in getting her diaper on or getting dressed, it can be a very easy task. Unfortunately, she'll only do either one when she's ready, and doesn't care about your schedule. When we rush her, she usually makes it very difficult for us.

Carrying her purse and putting her sunglasses on her head as we go out to dinner

Awaiting Baby #2

Photoshoot with Galizes Photos at 34 weeks

Rose loves putting her babies "night-night" -
hopefully she loves helping to care for her new sister

During the month of August, I've been balancing the preparation necessary for a second baby along with the daily needs of being a productive member of my household and office. Thankfully, work demands have normalized compared to my busy spring, but there are lots of things I'd like to wrap up before I go on maternity leave.  As my belly grows, the demands of caring for an 18 month old get a little more difficult. After I pick up Rose from school, I just want to toss all my bags on the ground and flop on the couch to rest for a bit. Thankfully, Colin can pick up the slack and help meet any demands Rose has when I really need to relax. But sometimes Rose wants mommy, and it's not possible to spend the entire evening relaxing. There is dinner to be eaten, time with my little girl to be enjoyed, and a bedtime routine to be followed.

To take care of myself and the new life I am creating, I've been getting to the neighborhood pool 3-4 days a week for most of the month. Usually we go to the pool as a family on the weekends and Colin hangs out with Rose while I do some laps and pool exercises. During the week, I try to go do my exercise at least two nights after Rose goes to bed. For most of the month, the pool was open until 9pm. Now that kids have started back at school in most of North Carolina, the pool closes at 8pm, so I have to get there earlier. Thankfully, Rose loves the pool, so we can go right after school and have dinner or a snack there before starting the bedtime routine.

This pregnancy has been a little different than the first. It's crazy to think that I have been pregnant since December! Sometimes it feels like it has taken forever, but sometimes it feels like it flew by.  The first trimester was worse this second time around. While I didn't ever throw up, I came very close on Super Bowl Sunday and just felt queasy much more often.  My pants got tighter sooner, and my belly popped much earlier. They say the body remembers what it is supposed to do, and I think that is correct. While most people enjoy their second trimester, I had a difficult time finding a good work/life balance for most of April and May. Work was really busy with travel, managing a grant, managing contracts, and helping to write another grant.

When work started to calm down, I entered the third trimester and the summer heat. June was the hottest month here this summer, with record 100 degree temperatures. With an old HVAC unit on its last leg, the hot temperatures nearly killed it. A repairman was able to revive the unit for about 6 weeks before it crashed again.  Thankfully, the temperatures were not as hot in August, and we had a backup window unit in preparation for the final crash, so I really only had to suffer one night in June sleeping in temps in the mid-80s. I don't know how people survived being pregnant in the summer before A/C. I was pretty miserable that one night.  I can now say we have a nice, fully-functional and efficient home heating and cooling system. It has been well worth the investment as I continue getting bigger, hotter, and more uncomfortable!

We managed to do a little traveling this summer with a trip to the beaches of RI and to visit family in NY in early July, a day trip to the beach in Wilmington, NC in August, and a couple of weekend getaways to the mountains of Virginia. We had some good food in Blacksburg on the way to hike the beautiful Cascade Falls in mid-June and enjoyed exploring Charlottesville and the Blue Ridge Parkway before hiking the strenuous Sharp Top mountain in the Peaks of Otter hiking area in late July.

The end of the hike at Sharp Top

Our beach-loving girl and her daddy

Overall the pregnancy has been good. While I do get tired at the end of the work day, am battling a few varicose veins, and now get winded climbing up a flight of stairs, I have not experienced any swelling, have maintained a good weight gain (about 27lbs through 38 weeks), and have been able to continue working, swimming, and doing daily activities.  With just about a week left until the baby is due, I really can't complain. I've actually been measuring smaller in these past few weeks this pregnancy than I did with Rose, and I haven't gained quite as much weight. It might be because of the swimming, chasing a toddler, and/or eating less/better in the summer than in the winter.  Being pregnant in the summer was much more exhausting and debilitating than the winter - although it might have just felt like it because I also have a toddler this time around.  But, it will be nice to be on maternity leave with a newborn in the fall, with comfortable temperatures and the ability to be outdoors.

We'll see how cooperative baby Miller is. I've asked her to arrive some time between Saturday Sept 5-Thursday Sept 10 (her due date is the 10th) because I still have a few things I want to wrap up at work before she arrives and I don't want to go past 40 weeks. But, I know that she will come when she's ready and I just need to be prepared.  My go-bag is mostly ready, the car seat is in the car, we've got diapers ready, newborn clothes washed and organized, and the co-sleeper is set up in the bedroom. But, I'm not yet playing the waiting game and wishing her arrival ASAP. I'm okay with her waiting a few more days.

I wasn't as good at taking weekly pictures this pregnancy, but did manage to get a few these past few weeks.  Stay tuned for a post about Rose at 18 months - if I can get her to sit for her picture - and for developments of our expanding family!

32.5 weeks

34 weeks

Week 37

Week 38.5

Maternity and 18 Month Photo Fun

It's so hard to pick out a few photos when your photographer is so good!

Thank you to Ana Teresa Galizes of Galizes Photos for capturing the memories of our growing family.

Summer 2015 Update in photos

We've spent the summer trying to beat the heat with water and park adventures in Raleigh, a week long trip to the beach in Rhode Island, and a couple of weekends in the Virginia mountains. June was insanely hot, with quite a number of days in the 100's and July has been typical with lots of temperatures in the 90s. Here's hoping August isn't too bad.  The heat, plus an old HVAC system that just didn't want to make it through the summer made for some uncomfortable days. And anyone who has been pregnant in the summer knows environmental discomfort, especially in the 8th month of pregnancy, can make a lady miserable.

Thankfully, we've made it through what is typically the worst of the summer heat in Raleigh. I survived the A/C dying a complete death and the installation of a new unit, and have been fortunate enough to have a neighborhood pool where I can swim 3-4 days/evenings a week. As I enter the 9th and final month of pregnancy, I know the weeks of physical discomfort will end soon and it will all be worth it when I hold a baby in my arms.

Here's a photo recap of some of our summer adventures...stay tuned for Rose's 18 month update!

Rose playing at the Waverly Place playground in Cary in June

Trying to drink the water at the Waverly Place splashpad

Enjoying live music while cooling off at Waverly Place

Modeling her cousin's actions and outfit at the beach in RI in July

32 weeks (~July 16)

Hiking Sharp Top Mountain, in the Peaks of Otter area
of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia in July

Surviving the 1.5 mile strenuous hike up the top and
rewarded with some wonderful views

Enjoying her new favorite food - crackers!

Checking out the different animal furs at Sharp Top Mountain

34 weeks (~July 30)

Saying "cheese" for the camera on the way to school